The struggle of Thursday

 Today was Thursday. Let me repeat that again TODAY WAS THURSDAY. I know you don't believe, but sadly it's the truth. I was so convinced it was Friday that I almost gave my nuggets a math test that's scheduled for tomorrow. 

 My hair hurts, literally, probably because I have enough hair to cure male pattern baldness. Ponytails are tricky, but if you don't use them you get the bugs and seriously contemplate pulling a Britney Spears circa 2007. The struggle is real my friends.

 Just like the struggle I had carrying a screaming child back to the classroom whilst trying to keep my pants at a work appropriate waist level. By the time I got to my room I looked like Lil Wayne. 

 Or the struggle of being an oral surgeon, removing the metal from a pencil's eraser from a nugget's gums. This happened immediately after I told them the story of a kid who got an entire pencil tip lodged between her teeth my first year to scare them from chewing on inedible objects!  Guess that tactic backfired didn't it?

 The shoe struggle is the last of my woes for the day! I head out in pursuit of the perfect school sandal since I'm  obviously a Neanderthal who breaks shoes regularly. I don't know how many places I've left with one shoe in hand saying "Anyone have some superglue?"

Low and behold, Stage has the perfect overpriced shoe I'm looking for! I slip on my size and discover they are a tad big so I try on the smaller size, only to look like Cinderella's stepsister trying to squeeze into the glass slipper. There were no half sizes to be found so I continued my search in the ever promising Walmart. 57 dollars and five pairs of shoes later I walked out feeling triumphant! 

 Tomorrow is our Spring Fling (children running with hotdogs and trinkets). Hopefully the sun is out to dry out the grass and give me a farmers tan to be proud of! Then it's on to a glorious spring break! Praise Him!!! 

Ohhhhhh We're Half Way There...

 I should be sleeping but instead I'm just getting home from Walmart where I spent 17 bucks on Honey Buns, Uncrustables and breakfast bars. So grown up! 

 This is how my Wednesday started: the fog was so thick it was like being in a horror movie except I had a signal on my phone. What I didn't have was fluid in my windshield wiper thingamajig and my windshield was in need of some liquid. So just picture me riding down the street holding a water bottle out of the window poring it down the windshield as it splashes back into the car all while Adam Levine seranates me. At least one half of my windshield is semi clean now! 

 Speaking of half, today was a half day. It's utterly amazing how four hours can feel like days! Changing a five year old's schedule is like giving them a adrenaline straight to the chest like John Travolts did to Uma Therman in Pupl Fiction. They cannot handle it!! Ensure anarchy! 

 But it's okay because it's over and we only have two days left! This time next week I'll be on island time with my only concern being which bathing suit I should wear to the beach the next day! 

Almost

 Today at Brain Break, three kids from another class were hugging me and one looked up and said "Almost everyone loves you Ms. Amanda!" She ain't never lied! You faithful seven obviously love me, to a point where you're kind of stalking me. Don't worry, I totally love it! 

 There was a lot of almosts today. A nugget almost finished his math work but decided to hide in his cubbie instead. I almost got a watermelon but after literally dropping two to the floor and cracking them I decided it was a bad idea. There was almost boiled seafood for supper until I realized that I'm poor so it's just boiled veggies and hotdogs. (I'm not sure if you can screw up boiling veggies and hotdogs, but I probably am!) And I almost sounded exactly like Reba singing Fancy at the top of my lungs on the way home from school! 

 One day down, four more to go! Everyone needs a break. I can already smell the salty sea air and hear the waves...oh wait, that's just those boiling veggies! 

Irish it was summer!

 Tuesday, it's basically Monday's hangover! Mine passed painlessly enough though. 

 For the record, I want to state that Srping Break is entirely too far away (a week and a half) while simultaneously being way too early. I am in desperate need of the vacation but knowing that we are coming back to SEVEN uninterrupted weeks of madness is slightly heartbreaking. The end of the year is like a mirage. 

 Graduation practice should be starting after the break. Oh the tales I'll have to tell then. Remember the mystery pooper from last year? Oh the magic that happens on those steps! Stay tuned. 

Peaceful

 I'm such a tease. I make a big come back and then leave you hanging. But I guess it worked because here you are! I'm sorry I left you high and dry last week! 

 At least there's a fun story for you: when discussing our vocabulary (yes, five year old nuggets who use to fingerprint in class have vocabulary words) I asked if anyone knew what the word peaceful meant. Much to my delight one of my nuggets gave the most perfect definition of all times: "Peaceful is when you ain't got kids!" Old Mr. Webster could have never done such an outstanding job! It was perfect. 

 The rest of the week went by painstakingly slow. Which is probably gonna be the trend for the rest of the year! But hey, only 9 weeks left to go! Can I get an amen to Summer Break Jesus!? 

 

Nugget Talk

 Yesterday started off easy enough. I had duty and the kids we're inside since it was freezing. It's always great to come into a room full of screaming children telling you every single thing everyone did in your absence. 

 On Friday we have computer lab. Praise Him for that! Although the nuggets haven't grasped the idea of headphones just yet, they talk louder than ever, it's still a quiet time. After getting kicked out by the next class we stopped outside another teacher's room to straigten our lines. Said teacher came outside and from the silence of my nuggets yells "HEY YOU KNOW THAT SONG WITH THE LAZER BEAMS?" Whatttttttttt? I could do nothing but burst out laughing. Seriously where did that come from and why was it important to shout out? 

 During lunch a kid said "let's talk about how babies are born" I literally had to cover my mouth so I wouldn't spew milk everywhere. How about we talk about absolutely anything else? 

 The fact that we still have three weeks until Spring Break is a little soul crushing. The nuggets have been acting like gremlins after midnight with an unlimited supply of water. I don't know if it was the full moon or karma but this week was painful. 

 Here's to two nugget-less days! 

Free haircuts.

 I'm the worlds biggest slacker! I don't even remember the last time I filled you faithful seven on the ongoing a of my ever whimsical life.

 Since I don't know where I left you let me give you a brief overview:

-I bought a house. 

-Grew a jungle in my backyard unkownly. 

-I still teach Kindergarten. 

- Still temporarily lose all of my sanity while doing so. 

-My fast metobalism STILL hasn't come on, even though I ordered it years ago. 

 I could go on forever about all the crazy things that have happened this year, but inh w words of Sweet Brown, ain't nobody goti time me for that!

 I'll just go with today when my classroom was transformed into Truvy's closed in carport salon. ( If you don't immediately recognize what that is from you need to educate yourself!) As I am trusting my almost 1st Graders with scissors to cut out pictures of 3D shapes as sort them, one nugget goes full Truvy and gives herself a haircut. I'm not even sure what my reaction was because I'm pretty sure I blacked out for a moment. Once I recover from the black out I went full on M'Lynn! I wanted know WHYYYYYYY?!?! No excuse. Just lots of tears and shrugs. 

 On another completely unrelated note, I'm still baffled how my students turn into garbage men the moment they sit on the floor. Seriously, my room should be spotless because all they do is hold up random things with a look of pure amazement saying "I found this". It's like they have never seen a broken crayon or a piece of paper! THROW IT AWAY!

That is all for today! Sorry for my absence, and you're welcome for this epic story of cosmogoly.