An 11

Sundays are like brush burns from slip-n-sliding. A total pain, but yet fun! Like you had fun, but the end result is ultimately tragic.
The end of last week was nightmarish. If I were in the E.R. and the nurse asked me to describe the pain on a scale of 1 to 10, 1 being no pain and 10 being unbearable, it would have been an 11.
I was however determined to have a good weekend, but fate was against me. That's literally what my fortune said. I want to find the little Chinese man who decided to put that in a fortune cookie. They are suppose to tell me that I'm about to get money or meet the love of my life, fortune cookie is the name, not misfortune.
The tanning bed totally betrayed me, like when Slater started dating Kelly on Saved by the Bell betrayal! My entire body was literally burnt to a crisp. I had plans to go out last night that I had to change because wearing real clothes was literally painful. Thankfully today wasn't as bad. I still didn't wear jeans to the St. Patty's Day parade.
I'm currently trying to fight the inevitably of tomorrow by listening to Fleetwood Mac while prolonging my bath. I'm not sure how successful this is going to be.

I missed my pockets for two days, but seriously, look a my face.

50

"I'm fifffffty, I'm fifffffty"...I'm wishing I were Molly Shannon performing that skit on SNL. Ever since like 5th grade I have wanted to be on that show. Uno problemo, I have horrible stage fright. Isn't that the dumbest thing you've ever heard? A teacher with stage fright, what an oxymoron. I guess kids don't intimidate me, well they use to not.
50 days of school left. Praise Him! To be honest though, I'm having a hard time picturing how I'm going to make it. I'm like an airplane who's wing was shot off and the gas tank is leaking...the pilot was also knocked unconscious so the flight attendant is trying to man the cockpit.
50 shades of Kindergarten. Seriously, I have a kid who just goes up to other kids and spanks them. Excuse me?!? NO! You are not Christian Grey, put your hands down! After a lengthy phone call with mom I'm hoping that stops.
I actually had a good day with my nuggets, kinda. I'll take it! I do love them, and each time they hug me or pause to say "I love you" my heart melts a little. But the pressures that come with this job are just too much. My mind might change, but as of now I just don't see myself doing this for the rest of my life. I feel like I've lost 10 years already. Maybe I'll concur my stage fright and be entertaining you via T.V. We can hope!

Today's pockets:
Tickets
Magic Glasses: give you speaking power
Cube, crayon, broken clip, random part of a necklace: all randomly given to me throughout the day

Sleep > anything.

Today was a little like getting punched in the face...over and over again. My head is pounding and I'm exhausted. Spring Break, please hurry!

Today's Pockets:
Tickets/marbles
Marker
50 cents----
Erasers. l
Bug. V
Clip -------- confiscated

I wrote this hours ago...oops

 Bad blogger, bad blogger! Re-cap of what you missed: Thursday- did Zumba with two co-workers while talking to the janitor as he didn't clean the room, ladies night with other co-workers and too many margaritas. Friday- blood pressure raising day. Anarchy, apocalyptic, annoying!
 The weekend was fun though! Friday night was dinner with a friend and going to bed early. Saturday was spent with DG in NOLA. Picked up my bridesmaid dress, a new dress for me, an inflatable bowling set and a lunch date! I then treated myself to a mani/pedi so I could look super fly at a friend's wedding. Caught the bouquet, and stole some hearts..well maybe not.
 Sunday was super lazy, as it should be. I was going to go to school to clean up, but I decided against it and instead visited one of my best friends new house! Everyone around me is a legitimate grown up and I'm all like "Hey mom, do you know where my jeans are?".
 So here we are, Monday. The first Monday of Daylight Savings time, it wasn't disgusting! One of my frantic 5 was absent, along with two other nuggets. It's crazy how having less students changes the day. It just makes things a little easier!
 We made cubes with gummy bears, marshmallows and toothpicks, super cute. Watching them trying to figure out how to build it was fun, I just wish they could complete the task with a lower volume. On the bright side, no one went home with a toothpick in their eye so I guess I'll just take what I can get!
 My Promethan Board was ordered! YAY!! I cannot wait to have it!
 Did you know that teachers are also oral surgeons? I had a nugget break off a pencil tip..in between her teeth. After repeatedly asking her if she had put a pencil in her mouth she still maintained her plea of not guilty! I tried my own finger nail and a tooth pick but I was unsuccessful, so I had to call home and let her mother know that her child was coming off the bus with a #2 pencil capped tooth.
 Zumba day two complete! I'm pretty sure people passing my window were highly confused! Am I skinny yet?! Dry grilled pork chops and nasty squash was on the menu for tonight. Yum...

Today's Pockets:
Top: confiscated
Tickets/marbles: bribery...I mean classroom management
Marker: my room reeks of permeant marker
Magnetic letters: from the underneath of a nuggets desk

Take a seat

Excuse me, can you tell me where I can find Amanda Caillouet? Because currently the person writing this has just gotten home from working out and is now cooking dinner! WHAT IS HAPPENING TO ME?
I'm actually excited about my life choices today. They'll be funnier tomorrow when we workout at school using the Promethean board. Why join the gym when you can workout at work? The multi-tasker in me is excited. I can have stuff printing while I'm zumbaing around the room.
I'm a little worried about my dinner dish though. My mom found a weight watcher recipe on Pinterest for these turkey biscuit enchiladas. I'm not sure how its gonna go down, in case of an emergency I have left over pork chops.
The school day dragged today. I felt like it was the never ending story! I'm pretty sure that's just how the rest of the school year is going to go.
Did you ever wonder what goes through a child's mind before they do something outlandish like stand on their desk? Like I wonder, is it "maybe she won't notice" or "these boots were making for walking" or "bslshejwhagdnfkehahavab stand up now". I'm pretty sure it's the latter.
Most teachers want their kids to expand their minds and believe in themselves; I want my kids to remain seated for at least 15 minuets. Not that I don't think mind expansion and self confidence are important!

Today's Pockets:
Marbles
Coins
Half of a mustache eraser

10%

10% battery left on my phone. It's totally possible that this blog will end without war... Ha, I'm still here. Do virtual jokes go over well?
Another successful nap day! Not as great as yesterday but I'll be happy with a majority of the class staying in their own space and keeping the noise to a dull roar.
You know when I accepted this job I didn't know I'd be working with the deaf and the blind. That's got to be it though, it has to be that my students can't see or hear me. That's the theory I reached today while I watched one student completely ignore every single instruction that I gave him.
You know they say I you pray for patience, God doesn't give it to you, he gives you opportunities to be patience.....I never prayed for that! I prayed for Ryan Gosling and a high metabolism.
In case you were wondering, I didn't get either. But hey, Garth Brooks has an entire song about unanswered prayers, and I trust his judgement.
I replaced my burnt chicken tonight with a burnt pork chop. I predict that by the end of the month I'll be able to go without burning my dinner...most probably because by then I'll probably have given into my commitment issues and be eating a hot n' spicy from McDonald's. I'm just being realistic.
I'm a horrible blogger, I emptied my pockets at school and forgot to photograph them. Shun me if you must!

Burn

Burning questions, burnt chicken, burning desire to roundhouse kick some people in the face, burning calories and burning skin! The last one is a lie, I didn't burn at all on my first tanning session of the year! Yay!
Burning questions: What was I thinking when I got a perm in the 7th grade? Why did I choose this career? Who said that "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger" besides Kelly Clarkson? How come beer has so many calories?
Burnt chicken: what I ate for dinner in an effort to reduce the amount of space I take up. It was good, George Forman just put a little too much power into this grill, or I got sidetracked and forgot about it while cooking. One of those.
Burning desire to roundhouse kick some people in the face: I feel as if this is a feeling shared by many, especially you my faithful seven. If you're still reading this blog then I know you'll understand. I'm sure you've reached the point where suddenly your life turns into a Quentin Tarantino film. Ex. Repeating instructions for a worksheet 4 times. Having kids from each table repeat what you are suppose to do. Modeling how to do so and the having that one nugget who doesn't even raise their hand say "I don't know what to do". Or when the person in front of you in the 10 items or less lane has enough food to feed the Duggers for a week. (please google the Duggers) A roundhouse kick would solve lots of problems, but it's unethical, illegal and probably really hard to accomplish.
Burning calories: Move over Lance Armstrong, I went for a bike ride after eating my burnt chicken. It was only a mile, but it's better than nothing. I probably should have worn a jacket and put more air in the tires. Eh, you live and learn.
Burning skin: the tanning bed is such a magical place. It motivated me to eat the burnt chicken and burn rubber. I can't wait to be so dark that people question my ethnicity. It happened once, second greatest compliment. First: "You look like a mermaid".
Today actually wasn't horrible. Can you believe it? I did have to suppress the urge to repeatedly bang my head against the wall at some points in the day, but ten nuggets napped! It was magical! 10! Even one of the frantic five! Praise nugget napping Jesus!
I completed my GTL and now I'm ready for my shower and the E channel until I fall asleep! GTL stands for gym, tan, laundry...but since I'm a teacher, the L has been replaced with lesson plans.
I'm rambling..apologies!

Today's Pockets:
Marbles
Marker/Highlighter
Dime